Why are we reading books we hate?
...and maybe it's time to stop.
The Weekly Yap is a bi-weekly newsletter where I dive into a more ‘focused’ topic that can range from clothing consumption to favorite local Chicago bookstores!
This is a post that has been knocking around my head since I started Short Story, Long in early November. Longer than that, actually. I’ve been thinking about this post since an extremely awkward conversation with old coworkers at a team offsite. The conversations stemmed around one colleague asking for a book recommendation that led her to say how ‘oh, that’s nice. But, I don’t read fiction.’ To which I said, that’s cool, read what you want to read!
And somehow it snowballed into another coworker approaching us, and saying how he 1/wasn’t much of a reader and 2/preferred to read ‘real’ books… An eyeroll was had.
It led me to question, was this person really not a *reader* or were they perhaps reading books they actually hated? Reading is only as enjoyable an experience as the material you’re picking up. Right? If you love sci-fi thrillers but only read dense history books, you aren’t going to enjoy the experience.
So why are we reading books we hate?
I can boil it down to the following…
We read books we *think* we should be reading
instead of
Reading books we *actually* enjoy reading
You might be sitting with your mug of coffee going, um MacKenzie duh! But, think about it. How many times have you read a book because someone in your life or society at large made you '*think* you had to read it to be a ‘reader’: I’m looking at you Ernest Hemingway!!
I’ve fallen into this trap so many times myself… I spent years out of college determined to read the classics, only to spend three minutes rereading the same paragraph before my eyes drooped. OR when I joined Bookstagram in 2022, determined to catch up to my fellow readers, and read books deemed ‘must reads’ only to discover I don’t really love extremely spicy books or domestic thrillers that make me yawn. I convinced myself to read them and wound up with a bunch of three-star even two-star books.
But, through both of those experiences I learned what kind of books I don’t vibe with and the books that I do!
How to start reading books you *actually* enjoy reading?
You might need to read a couple of ‘frogs’ first
Being a reader comes with a lot of curiosity. We read to learn new things, experience new emotions, or connect to a material on a deeper level. I think reading tastes are ever evolving and expanding. As you read more, discover new genres, you learn what works for you. Which means, you’re probably going to read books you don’t like from time to time and that’s okay! It also means, your bookclub might pick something you think you’ll hate only to discover a new favorite book! Sometimes you have to be open to the options out there and read a few ‘frogs’ before discovering your tastes.
DNF (do not finish) if you aren’t vibing
I cannot stress this enough (and need to take my own advice here) but life is too short to be reading books we don’t like! If one of the aforementioned ‘frogs’ isn’t working for you: ditch it. Slogging through a book, because you feel obligated or you have some rule about always needing to finish a book is only going to hurt you. I understand this is easier said than done, but take baby steps. Instead of throwing the book out the window, place it on pause. Pick up a different book you’re more interested in and if several weeks go by and you’re still curious about the book you put down, pick it back up! I personally find it easier to dnf books that I checkout from my library since I haven’t spent my own moola on said book. But, I’ve been striving to take this advice into all my reading.
Identify the essence of what works for you
With most things, I find it easier to understand what I like by first examining what I don’t like. So now that we’ve done that, onto the fun part! You’ve discovered you love a sweeping fantasy novel that takes you to far off places or perhaps you prefer something that will keep you on your toes with twists and turns.
Once you’ve pinpointed what you love reading try following people with similar tastes as you to get recommendations. OR you can always Google: sad-girl Irish fiction and be met with a ton of results.
This is, also, where Bookstagram can come in handy, by connecting with people who ‘vibe’ with similar books as you and also might have varying tastes, bringing new books into your life. I personally get a lot of recs from the following accounts:
@the_spines for Dramione fanfic, litfic and fantasy
@katyisreading for litfic, wacky out there books, and wonderful reviews
@em_jacobs_reads for romance and the prettiest mood boards
- for thoughtful book lists
And so many others that I’d happily share in the comments!
Stop being embarrassed about your reading preferences!
Repeat after me: being a romance (insert any other genre here) reader doesn’t make you less of a reader! At the start of my previous team weekly meeting we would share recommendations on what we were reading, eating, watching, etc… as an ice breaker before getting into ‘work’ stuff. I kept getting embarrassed about sharing the cowboy romance I was reading when all my other coworkers were reading business books or heavy literary fiction. BUT, one of my work friends reminded me of a time when she was talking about liking fantasy books, feeling less than, and I jumped in about how I liked fantasy too and how she shouldn’t be embarrassed (this led to a group of us gushing over our love of SJM).
Let’s be real, there will always be someone else who will look down on you for your taste in reading, but it says a lot more about that person than it does about you. So now when someone asks what I’m reading I tell them all about the wonderfully fun fanfic or swoony romance and hey, maybe I’ll convince them to pick it up themselves (I did in fact rave about ACOTAR so much at said work function that one of my male coworkers read all of them, and I can die happy).
Read what brings you joy
My final piece of advice and if you take one thing away from this yap, I hope it’s this: read what makes you happy. My hubby loves Manga. But, when people turn to him and asks if he’s a big reader too, he says no! This infuriates me (love you babes) because Manga is reading!! And he LOVES it!
In 2024 I discover Dramione fanfic, and not to be dramatic, it changed my life. It opened up my reading world to a whole new genre, in a world that I love with characters I love and it make me so freaking happy. Also, after avoiding romances for a good year and a half—convinced I didn’t like them because they were too spicy for me—I rediscovered my love for the genre by finding a happy medium of emotional vulnerability and a dash of spice! Some of my favorite books of 2024 were romances.
I’ve stepped away from ‘thrillers’ even though they are SO popular, because they weren’t doing it for me. I try and read more intuitively. I pick up books that I know I’m going to love. I take chances on different genres when I read an amazing review, knowing if it doesn’t work for me, I can set it aside.
And, since having this ‘aha’ moment my reading life has become one of joy and a tbr list I’m genuinely excited about.
And there we have it.
I hope you enjoyed this weekly yap! It’s something that has been kicking around in the ole noggin for a while. If this resonated with you, I’d love to see you join the Short Story, Long fam. And, if there are ways you’ve been finding joy in reading share them below!
Until next time,
MacKenzie
Wow really needed to read that DNF paragraph today bc I don’t know if I can keep going with my current book. It’s really not doing it for me
I wholeheartedly agree. Once I admitted I loved romances and books centered on female stories, my world opened up!